The Woman's Relationship Bible

A very dear friend of mine that I have known most of my life has written an amazing book. It is available for free on the internet, and is an easy and important read.

Even if you're already married, or you're not even a woman, you should read this book. It's an uplifiting reminder of the importance of some things in our lives, and the unimportance of others.
*end shameless plug*

O.I.K.

Only In Korea...

• There's no tax - it's wysiwyg here, as the tax (if any) is included in the advertised price


• There's also no tipping, at restaurants, cabs, or anywhere you would normally leave a little extra.


• When you're seated at a restaurant, the waiter does not return to take your drinks or check on you. So how do they know you need something? One of two ways: either there's a "magic button" on the table that you ring whenever you're ready to order or need something, or you yell or say "yogi-o". It means "over here".


• No one says 'excuse me' if they bump into you on the subway. This includes a slight bump to a full-on push-you-out-of-the-way-to-get-that-last-empty-seat-before-you. Some of the worst offenders of this are the ajumas.


• Scooters regularly drive on the sidewalk. Not at a reasonable pace, but often at full speed along a pedestrian-filled walkway. No one seems to care.


• People park in the middle of the street. Perhaps not the middle lane, but on a reasonably busy thoroughfare, they will park on the side of the road regardless of how this will affect the traffic coming behind them.


• Because of this parking issue, many cars seem to ignore the lanes on the road. Buses especially will drive for blocks in the middle of two lanes, effectively blocking all traffic behind them from passing. They also don't pull over all the way when picking up passengers.


• When walking down a retail street, it is not uncommon to see the street congested with tables, all covered with small nick-nacks at 'sale' prices. These tables are not monitored, and unless it starts raining, it seems the shop owners often forget they're there. No one steals from them either.


• Shoes for women only go up to a size 8. The 'big size' stores go up to a 10.5. I have seen one such store. There were three pairs of shoes that were bigger than a 10. None of them fit me.


• Wearing socks with sandals or flip-flops is not tacky, it's polite. You can even wear footsies (ankle-length pantyhose) with a skirt or shorts.


• Girls wear high heels all the time with anything. rain. snow. sun. beach. work. play. running in their gym shorts. I kid you not. And they're often a bright color, like orange, with big bows or flowers or 'jew-els' on them. And they don't have to match any of the other clothes that you're wearing.


• Guys and their girlfriends will often buy the same outfit and wear them at the same time (how else could you tell that they're dating?). Sometimes right down to the same belt and purse. Yes. Men wear purses here. They're not man-bags. They are purses.


• Public restrooms often do not supply toilet paper - there usually isn't even a place to put it. It's b.y.o.t. here.


• Very few large public areas are air-conditioned. Individual shops usually are, but not so much so that coming out of the heat into a store is refreshing. Hallways, elevators, subway and train stations, etc. are never air conditioned, and rarely have fans. Apparently it's the same for heat in the winter.


• The metro and buses are generally frequent and punctual. It is usually simple to get to where you need to be. Unless you are trying to get home in the wee hours of the morning after a night of dancing (and/or drinking). Then, not only will you get on the four different trains that do not go all the way to your stop (so you must get off and wait for the next train), but it will take you twice as long to get home as it did to get there. You may miss your stop by sleeping through it, as well, and end up at the place you left the night before only 6 hours later


• There is a lack of public water-fountains and garbage cans. I have seen ONE (1) water fountain here. The water has to be purified to drink, so the few places that have public water have water coolers with paper envelopes as cups.


• Eggs come in a carton of ten, and the standard is brown - I have yet to see white eggs for sale.
  
• TV shows do not start on the hour or half hour. A standard starting time could be 9:07 or 3:52. When movies or a series is shown, you will get 45 minutes (or so) of uninterrupted program, followed by 15 minutes of commercials.

... etc.

School and Prison

This week seemed to be almost a blow-off at work. We came back Wednesday, and Thursday we had a birthday party in the morning for September, and then it was Friday already. Quite a pleasant week actually.

I went to Bosan (not to be confused with Busan), which is a few stops north of me on the subway to see Camp Casey, the closest American military base to Uijeongbu. Of course I wasn't allowed in, and really stayed a bit away from the main entrance, but it was interesting to see.

And then today I went to Seodaemun Prison. I had actually planned to go to the Namsangol Hanok Village, but it was raining quite a bit, and the village is mostly outside. James went with me to the prison, which was sobering and semi-impressive, though the manequins in the various cells were partially macabre and partially bad wax figures. There were no pictures allowed in most of the areas, but I did get one of the entrance to the execution building, which is the same picture my guide has.

I have to say we would have stayed longer if there hadn't been some sort of field trip where there were hundreds of children running wild around the place (literally), and rather disturbing the somber mood of the place (I mentioned to James that my mom would have had a fit if she'd seen these kids running and laughing through the prison halls, and I had to force myself not to clothesline some of them).

Tonight we're going to the opening of some club in Itaewon (foreigner's haven), so I've actually got to go get ready for it now.

Chuseok at Gina's

My original plan for Chuseok, which was rather last minute, was to go to Vietnam to see my aunt and uncle and meet my newly adopted cousin. But due to multiple issues with both my Korean visa and getting a visa to go to Vietnam, I wasn't able to go (although I had already purchased a plane ticket). My partner teacher, Gina, was helping me get the ticket since quite a bit of the process involved Korean websites, so she knew I was disappointed that I wasn't going to see my family for the holiday. She invited me instead to spend the holiday with her family in Pyeongtaek(평특), which is about 2 hours south of Seoul, which I readily accepted.

I met Gina at a subway station on Sunday after she got out of church, where she and her 5 cousins picked me up in their car. The traffic was crazy, rather similar to Thanksgiving traffic in the States. Her cousins ranged in age from 20 to 32, and spoke varying degrees of English. I think they were more nervous to meet me than I was about meeting them. They tried to speak English around me, though it was more difficult for some of them. All of her cousins are boys - Gina's the only girl in her generation. We had a pleasant trip, where they asked me questions about America, the first Korean word I learned, etc. One of the odd questions including asking me what my blood type was - apparently it's similar to asking what your astrological sign is.

We had to drive through a rather large rice field, which Pyeongtaek is famous for. When we got to her grandmother's house I met her family, which included her 4 aunts and uncles, grandmother, mother and father, and a few other cousins. I wasn't shown around the house, but the main room was a living room/kitchen, and there were three other rooms and a bathroom. The three other rooms were bare floors with wardrobes against the walls and piles of yo (요, pads or blankets to sleep on), and one room had two desks and a twin size bed. Gina walked be out behind the house down a pleasant path where you could hear (and smell) the cows and other animals that were on some of the nearby farms. She explained some of the different vegetation and lifestyle of the people that live in the country. When we got back to the house, everyone had started eating on the tables outside. It was a traditional Korean meal, with three different kinds of kimchi (including water kimchi, which is kind of like soup), song-pyeon (a kind of dumpling), galbi (beef), eel (which was cooked and tasted nothing like the eel I've had on sushi, but it was very good), sesame seed leaves covered in a vinagrette type sauce, some sort of fish, bean sprouts, small vegetable pancakes, and quite a few more that I can't remember. The family seemed very happy that I was trying all of the different foods, and even commented that I used the chopsticks very well. There were a few casual toasts during the meal, two of which were to "We are the world, we are the children". I'm not really sure why...

After the meal, they brought out a game that was similar to jacks, but with a different kind of playing piece. There are five total pieces in kongi. You throw them on the floor, and then pick up one piece. You then have to throw this piece in the air, and before it hits the ground, pick up one of the pieces on the floor - and then catch the one in the air. You do this until all the pieces are picked up. Then you throw them on the ground again, and pick up one piece. This time when you throw it up in the air, you have to pick up two pieces each time. This repeats with having to pick up three, then all four pieces at once. The last part is taking all five pieces and throwing them up, catching them on the back of your hand, and then catching them in the palm of your hand. It's very difficult, at least for me, and they found it very amusing to watch me try to play.

Gina's dad wanted me to have more fun, so afterward we went to a bowling alley, where we played to games of bowling with the cousins, Gina, and Gina's dad. After bowling, we went to a norae-bang (노래벙, literally translated as song room) where we sang karaoke for an hour. I was asked to sing one song, which I grudgingly did since they wanted to hear my voice and no one would sing with me. Gina sang one Mariah Cary song and did really well. They were mostly Korean songs, but a few of them were American pop songs. By this time it was nearly midnight, so we headed home.

I thought I would be sleeping in one of the larger rooms with the yo on the floor, but Gina's dad was very concerned about my comfort, so I was asked to sleep on the only bed in the house. Gina slept on a yo on the floor in the room with me, and we had the room to ourselves. We talked for an hour or so before falling asleep.

I woke up Monday morning having slept well the night before, and in desperate need of coffee. A traditional Korean breakfast was served (it was the same food as dinner from the night before), and although I would have been fine with just coffee and bread, they insisted on me trying everything all over again. After breakfast and getting washed and dressed (Gina's mom made everyone a small gift of a travel toothbrush and toothpaste set - mine said "foreign teacher" in Korean), we walked down the path I had been on the evening before to gather chestnuts and visit Gina's grandfather's grave. They raked away the leaves from around the grave, but it was not very ceremonial, more like just everyone was spending time outside together. We headed back to the house, where Gina's mom and grandmother started to make more kimchi. Gina and I walked out to the rice fields, where I finally saw what rice looks like before it gets into my bowl. She explained how they harvest the rice when the leaves turn yellow, and how it was a family tradition to come to your grandparents house for Chuseok to help with the harvest for the year. We wandered back to the house, where I tried some of the freshly made kimchi, and had to make a bolt for the door to get some water because it was so spicy (freshly ground chili paste will do that to you). We had grapes and pears, and visited for a while until around noon, when Gina's cousin drove us to the bus stop in town to go back home.